Introverts and Group Conversations. Perspective 24.

6th of January, 2018. 

Happy New Year to everyone ! I truly hope that this year will the best year you have ever had. For this post, I thought it would be fun to address my problems as an introvert in a “group conversation”. If you are an introvert too, let me know what your thoughts are on group conversations.

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First of all let me be honest and admit that I am terrible at group conversations. Whether the group conversation is with family, friends, or strangers, I am terrible. I try and I persevere but I fail every time ( true story ). So let me tell you my experiences with group conversations.

Problem 1 : Waiting for a chance to speak. 

The conversation starts and everything is great. I am listening intently and I am observing everyone, their facial expressions, emotions and then suddenly I realize I have something to contribute to the conversation. But wait, do I speak now or later ? Let me just wait for person A to finish what they have to say but then as soon as person A finishes speaking, person B starts talking. Okay let me wait for person B to finish. When person B finishes, I just utter a letter of the sentence and I am interrupted by person C. By the time I get a chance to speak, the topic has changed. Great.

Problem 2 :  Not being loud enough for people to hear. 

The funniest part is that even if I do actually speak, only the person closest to me can hear what I have to say. They listen to me, give me a sympathetic smile because they know how hard I am struggling and then they involve themselves into the group conversation.

Problem 3 : Who do I look at when I am talking ? 

When I am talking, I get so overwhelmed because there are so many people staring at me. So who do I look at ? I just end up looking at the wall or just looking at one person. There are people who make eye contact with everyone while talking in a group. Oh well.

Problem 4 : The thoughts in my head are much more interesting. 

In a group conversation, I just end up thinking because the thoughts in my head are much more interesting than what the people are talking about. Then when I am thinking, my head is in another direction and people realize that I am not involved in the conversation and they say, “Are you okay ?” LOL.

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Problem 5 : I am invisible in a group conversation. 

Not even joking about this one. If I were to merge into the the wall, no one would realize because I am so quiet during a group conversation. It’s actually funny.

I always think group conversations follow the principle of “survival of the fittest“. People have to really try their best to get their points across and interrupt others. But despite my inability of surviving in a group conversation, there are actually times when I enjoy listening to people’s input rather than talking. Besides if everyone was to speak in a group conversation, there would be no one listening, right ?

Hope you enjoyed this post. Feel free to tell me what you thought of this post in the comments section below.

I wanted to end with a positive quote. Hope this is encouraging to you.

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Lots of Love,

A Shy Introvert.



30 thoughts on “Introverts and Group Conversations. Perspective 24.

  1. I actually laughed out loud reading this, especially the bit about conversations being more interesting in your head! Not because I’m laughing at you but because I’m imagining myself and I often feel like you do. I guess I’m good at hiding the way I feel now because people don’t realise how shy and introvert I actually am. I really detest big groups and as our church continues to grow, the bigger the groups get! On one hand I’m happy about it but on the other I’m like ‘Aggghhh!!!! More people!”
    I think sharing the way you feel with others is a great place to start improving your shyness. People will understand more than you think. Not many would class me as shy even though I am so you might find someone similar to me who you wouldn’t expect to understand without chatting to them.
    Hope this helps.
    Love Hayley 😊💕

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You have written every little detail about being an introvert in a group conversation perfectly. I have the exact same thoughts and experience as what you’ve just described.


  3. Relate to this for sure. Group conversations are hard and people who are introverts tend to get left out. The “are you ok?” question argh..I dislike getting asked that a lot 😛 Truly not everyone can talk at once, if no one listened the chat would get nowhere. There’s nothing wrong with sitting back and listening. It’s also important to remember your voice is just as important as anyone elses so if there’s something you want to say in group chat’s don’t hesitate to dive in 🙂 Thanks for sharing the post, enjoyed it!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Nicely written.
    The way I act in a group conversation depends on the setting. Since I am opinionated, I will try and squeeze my 2 cents in there between person A and person B. However, if there is someone who insists on interrupting everyone and not listening to anyone, I shut down. If people are saying nonsensical things and they all seem to pat each other on the shoulder, I might try and argue, but more often than not, I will shut down, because I know there is no way in to their illogical minds. Looking around the room (scanning through faces) while I speak has become sort of a habit to me.

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  5. Very well written and very true. I’ve never been fond of large crowds or participating in group discussion. For me this happens with everything except my friends, and even though I’ve gotten used to it, I hate it.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I can relate to a lot of these, especially the quiet voice. How can anyone listen when they can’t even hear what you’re saying basically. However, I do love being around people. I think, perhaps, a good thing might simply be to ignore the idea of “survival of the fittest” or simply not care too much. I think once you forget that manners pretty much dissolve into non-existence because of how many people there are there and how many people want their voice to be heard, you’ll start to feel much more free. The trick is to not give a shit, not think too much and just enjoy yourself.

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  7. I’ve always found it SOO hard to maintain eye contact when talking, even when it’s 1-to-1. It feels uncomfortable/overly-intimate and it’s much easier to think & respond whilst not looking at the person, I find. My mum recently confessed to struggling with this, too.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Ah, thanks for the encouragement! I still remember when I had a practice interview at (high) school, my Head of Year was like… you need to look me in the eye when you talk to me. I was applying for Medicine at the time, and he said that looking patients in the eye as a Doctor was probably something that’d be important -_- haha 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  8. I know, right? I think he meant well as he wanted me to do well in my university interviews. I didn’t actually realise the eye-contact thing was an introvert thing until recently.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Love what you’ve said here! As an introvert trying to get better at handling group conversations, this was so relatable. It’s much easier with one-on-one conversations because there’s not any need to compete to make your voice heard. Extroverts sparkle outwards, introverts glow from within, but they both give the same warmth. If you appreciate your own quiet glow, other people will see it too. Great read!

    Liked by 1 person

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