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We’re all in this together : COVID – 19

26th March, 2020 – Thursday

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I know what you’re thinking; another post on the COVID – 19. Ughh. It’s frustrating when this is probably everyone hears, talks about or knows now. It’s especially hard when you’re forced to stay at home because you’re supposed to isolate yourself from others, your plans for the summer are cancelled. I just want to say, I understand and you’re not alone. When I first heard about social distancing, I won’t lie, my introverted self leaped with joy. This is supposed to be my dream come true right? But it doesn’t feel like that anymore seeing the pain, suffering and sadness in the world. There’s so much uncertainty right now and going out now seems like the thing of the past.

But this post is not to discourage you at all, I wanted to say you’re not alone in these strange strange days, there are millions in the world who are feeling the same thing and we’re all going to get through this together. I know it feels like forever but hold on for a little but because before you know, you’ll be able to go outside and meet friends, family and once again, I’ll be screaming to go back home.

If you’re feeling sad, here are some pointers which might make you feel better;

1 Acknowledge your feelings : It’s okay to feel sad, lonely, scared and worried. Don’t ignore these feelings because they’re valid and understandable. The first step is to allow yourself to process what is happening and allow yourself to feel all these scary emotions.

2. Talk to friends, family : Remember you’re not alone in this, talk to friends and family and let them know how you’re feeling. Just staying connected will help you get through these days. Have video chats, trust me they’ll make you feel better.

3. Find new hobbies : There are so many things to do at home from reading books, maybe even start a blog, cook. Do things that will make you happy and will take your mind off everything that is happening.

4. Remember you’re not going through this alone : We’re all at home, not allowed to get out and going a little crazy.

WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER………FROM OUR SEPARATE HOMES

Have a wonderful day,

A Shy Introvert 🙂

TV Shows and Movies. Perspective 45.

2nd August, 2019.

TV shows and movies…. Aaah, those moments when reality becomes blurry and fades into the shadows and all the possibilities, impractical and unrealistic ideas come to light. This is one of the reasons why I absolutely love passing my time watching tv shows and movies. Whether you’re having a bad or good day, you just watch your favourite movie or tv show and everything in life seems to make sense again. Sometimes I get so engrossed while watching shows that I forget I exist in the “real world”, the world where people are not perfect and they are going to disappoint you multiple times, where you cannot get what you want no matter how much you desire it, where passions stay your passions and never come to life, where the good guy doesn’t really win and it’s all about the bad guy who controls the narrative.

When you actually think about all these aspects, it can be quite upsetting to check in with reality. I think it also makes you wonder, think and taps into your creative potential and yes, tv shows and movies can be quite unrealistic but why can’t we explore those too far, stretched out ideas? Why can’t be push the boundaries and limits of our mind and move on to think about all those questions, ideas and concepts which have never been heard of or talk about before? Why not? What’s so wrong with exploring the unknown? I think that’s what tv shows and movies have to offer, it really challenges certain things you already know and makes you ponder about the whys and the hows and all those possibilities and it makes you smile for a while and will not let you lose your faith in humanity, it can teach you things which others are too afraid to talk about and it can include all your imaginative ideas which you stopped dreaming about since your childhood.

That’s all I have to say about tv shows and movies but let me know what you think about them and how often you watch a tv show or movie 🙂

-A Shy Introvert.

I don’t know what to write about. Perspective 44

14th of May, 2019.

I haven’t been able to write for the past 2 months or so, so I decided why not write a post about how I don’t know what to write about.

When I started this blog, I knew exactly what to write. Thoughts and ideas just flowed and there was never a point when I struggled to write. I would write almost every single day. My writing made sense to me. Whenever I was inspired and motivated, I’d write it all down and I felt that satisfied feeling.

However, these past 2 months have been a battle between my thoughts and my writing. It’s like there’s no connection between them. There’s no flow and most of what I’ve written feels heartless and cold. There’s no emotion. My thoughts are like this raging storm but when I start writing, I feel stuck. It’s like my thoughts refuse to cooperate when I start typing. Even when I do manage to cough up some sentences, I’m not satisfied with the matter.

Maybe it’s because I don’t have a strict writing schedule, or I haven’t felt inspired to write anything, or maybe I’m overly critical of my writing, I’m not sure. I want to be able to write like I used to and feel that satisfied feeling after I finish writing an article. I hope that my thoughts and my writing can re-connect. For now, I guess I’ll continue writing about my struggle with not being able to write.

Have you ever experience this before? Let me know how you dealt with it.

Avoiding Conflict. Perspective 43.

29th of April , 2019.

One thing to know about me is that apart from being an awkward and a shy introvert – I avoid conflicts at all costs. The moment I sense conflict coming my way, I run the opposite way. I can’t even stand the thought of being in a fight with anyone, it bothers me physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally……..(you get what I’m trying to say)

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My strong urge to avoid conflict has made me a people pleaser. If someone shows any signs of dislike towards me, I panic, I try to empty and utilize all of my people pleasing skills and make sure they like me. I’ll smile extra, laugh at their jokes even if they’re lame, I’ll be extra nice just because I want them to like me and also because I can’t stand conflict or the thought of it. In order to avoid conflicts, arguments or anything of the sort, I make sure I please people to the best of my abilities.

I don’t really know why I’m like this. I guess I know how it feels like to be in a conflict and I don’t want anyone to feel like this ever. I detest that uncomfortable feeling that arises when you’re not talking to your best friend or when someone yells at you. It stresses me out, my thoughts work overtime and it leaves me up at night wondering what went wrong. It’s horrible. And so, I panic and I don’t say how I feel when someone upsets me because I don’t want to lose them and I certainly do not want to start a fight.

The perks of being like this is people really like you and feel safe in your company. However, some take advantage of the fact that I avoid conflict and use that to say whatever they want because they know I won’t retaliate. It’s actually ruined some of my friendships because I would remain quiet if someone’s behavior bothered me and eventually we would stop talking and things became awkward.

Hence I’ve been learning that pointing out something that I dislike about someone’s behavior isn’t always conflict. There’s a way to handle relationship problems without it getting heated. Sit down together, explain your issues calmly and listen to the other’s point of view. If you’re angry, go out for a while and cool down because nothing will work when you’re angry. This is very challenging for me and it isn’t easy. However, I have noticed that calmly addressing my issues has brought me closer to my friends and has brought out mutual understanding.

What do you think of conflict? Are you also like me?

Lots of Love,

A Shy Introvert.

When you realize you’re an Introvert. Perspective 42.

9th of February, 2018. 

We live in a society that has made us believe that being extroverted is the norm and anything other than that is just purely unacceptable. So what happens to those people who don’t fit into the category of extroverts? What happens to those who do not like to be surrounded by people a lot, who derive their energy from alone time rather than from groups of people? They are unfortunately, looked down upon in society, cast aside and misunderstood. They are “Introverts”.

Since introverts are so different from extroverts, people instead of trying to understand us, label us and give us name which are not at all who we are. Some of the common labels are “Introverts are depressed, shy, anti-social, slow, rude, snobs, cold, boring……” If you ask any introvert, I’m sure they can recall a time when they did anything to be an extrovert just because at some point they felt that who they were was not acceptable or there was something wrong with them or they felt misunderstood.

But once, you find out that there is nothing wrong with you and that you fit into this category of people called, “Introverts”, you feel so much more connected and understood. It feels like you’ve found your family after years of searching for them. It’s this euphoric, ecstatic feeling that is quite hard to explain. You realize you’re normal and you want to find out more information about who you actually are. You spend hours on Introverted Sites or reading books on introversion trying to full explore your personality. You try to find more introverts like yourself and when you do, you feel more and more validated and comfortable with being you. You also begin to realize that choosing to spend time alone over a social event is completely okay. Your feelings of confusion suddenly fade away. You no longer feel the urge to fit in with the rest of the extroverts and escape from your introversion. You find your identity and there is no other feeling like it.

Lots of Love,

A Shy Introvert.

UGLY. Perspective 41.

16th of January, 2019.

Perhaps my biggest insecurity is of the way I look. I’ve never been able to accept the way I look or even consider myself as “pretty”. According to conventional standards of what beauty is, I don’t fit in, never have. Having a social media account, watching movies and television shows doesn’t really help my insecurity. I see these celebrities who have the perfect hair, faces, bodies and perfect social media accounts and this sense of inadequacy creeps in to me.

I remember once, someone told me, “Oh, you look so pretty!” and I just gave them a half smile. I couldn’t accept that compliment. I tried to think of their ulterior motives behind them calling me pretty. “Maybe they want something from me” – I thought to myself. I hide from the mirrors in my house because I know that when I see a mirror, I’m going to be very critical and judge every minute detail of my appearance. I’m going to feel the rush of anxiety when I see the amount of acne on my forehead and I’ll probably cry when I see how my hair looks.

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I remember once, my friend, who is considered to be pretty, told me she hates the way she looks and I was so puzzled because so many people compliment her on her looks but she was still insecure about it. I noticed how a couple of other people had insecurities over the way they looked as well.

What I concluded was that it doesn’t matter if you’re good looking by the conventional standards of beauty because at the end of the way – we are our worst critics and who we are will never be enough for us. We all have a certain perception of what beauty is and if we don’t fit our standards of beauty, how on earth are we supposed to fit society’s measure of beauty? 

Let me know what you think in the comment’s section below.

Lots of Love,

A Shy Introvert.

My thoughts. Perspective 40.

29th of November, 2018. 

If you would really like to get to know me, then it’s imperative that you get acquainted with my thoughts as well. My thoughts….

My thoughts are like this raging fire, like an untamed roaring and wild beast. I may be quiet and soft spoken but my thoughts are loud and they don’t hold anything back. It needs to have its say on everything, right from the person in front of me to the food I’m eating to different intense topics and conversations. It never stops, not even for a second. It distracts me with intriguing, interesting, daunting and sometimes silly ideas. They can be very dominating and telling them to stop, to switch off is quite futile and useless. It explores possibilities, relations, concepts and ideas and conducts an in depth study on each.

However crazy, intense and dominating my thoughts are, I cannot imagine a minute or day without them. It’s very much apart of me and I cannot escape, no matter how hard I try.

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Lots of Love,

A Shy Introvert.

Constancy. Perspective 39.

20th of September, 2018.

Do you ever just want something constant in your life. People change and they become different, winter becomes summer, the years, months, days all pass by. I just want constancy. I want something that I can rely on and I know I can run to when everything in my life feels fuzzy and messy. It could be anything, a thing or a hobby. It just gets frustrating when everything around me is changing rapidly and I can’t control it.

Sometimes I feel like writing is my source of constancy. It is the best outlet for me to release all my whirlwind of emotions. And I know that even if everything changes and life gets a little tough, I can pick up my pen and paper and just write and I will feel great like I always do when I write.

What’s your source of constancy? Do let me know in the comments section below.

Lots of Love,

A Shy Introvert.

The Introvert’s Need For Silence. Perspective 38

15th of September, 2018.

As an introvert, I spend many hours in silence meditating, pondering on different subjects. For me, the silence is a must or a necessity. I cannot function without having time to sit still. It’s absolutely imperative for me to find those few minutes of pure silence. It’s funny how when I’m in a place which is noisy, crowded and people are talking non-stop, my mind finds an emergency button – which is to switch off, unplug from the chaos and dive into the peace, the quiet and the unknown. People often ask me why I zone out so often. Well, here is my answer. Zoning out is not an excuse to not listen to somebody who is boring, it simply is a way to find my safe space when the world around me seems to be too noisy or chaotic for me the handle. It’s more like my fight or flight response.

For other people however, silence is perceived as boring. for most it is a waste of time. As, I observed members of my family, I notice how when they were silent, they found it baffling. For them, talking non-stop, is to live each and every moment to the fullest is what matters most. Silence is not in the schedule. Being quiet even for a minute is peculiar and odd.

I find it quite humorous to see such a vast difference between me and my biological relatives. How I perceive silence and how they perceive it is so different. Silence is where I can unwind and find joy and draw out conclusions to problems and complex thoughts. As for others, silence is unwanted and quite useless.

How do you perceive silence?

Lots of Love,

A Shy Introvert .

I don’t feel so good. Perspective 37.

5th of September, 2018. 

I don’t feel so good. I feel kind of depressed and melancholy. I have felt like this for the past few months and I have stopped blogging, playing the piano. I could just lie in bed, watching movies and tv shows all day if could. But I can’t. 

It feels kind of horrible when I realize that no one can really comprehend the intensity of what I am going through. I have spoken to a few people but they just wouldn’t understand. I have no energy to do anything. I can’t motivate myself to do anything. All I can do it put a fake smile on and pretend that I feel great and that nothing is wrong. I shouldn’t be complaining. I got the help I needed for depression last year. But I feel miserable and tired and fed up. I often contemplate the point of this life given to us and whether it is even worth it. This is how I have been feeling. 

Here I am, sharing how I truly feel, not holding anything back and laying it all out there. 

Lots of Love, 

A Shy Introvert.