stress, exhausted · thoughts

Confusion. Perspective 25.

24th of January, 2018.

Confusion – the state of being bewildered or unclear in one’s mind about something.

I’m in a state of confusion right now. I have too many things going on right from projects, a family wedding, friendship issues. And I feel so unclear and overwhelmed with everything. My mind is in this state of confusion and I want to stop and scream.

I have been feeling anxious and sad and I really want to run away from everything. I wish everything could stop just for a minute. I go to sleep thinking about everything that is going on and get up with this heavy feeling.

There is this quote that I really love which says, “Someday everything will make perfect sense. So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason.”

This quote makes me want to laugh at the confusion and smile through the tears because I know one day, everything will make sense. So I’m trying to laugh and smile. It’s tough but I’m doing my best. I know this confusion will be sorted out.

If you are in this state of confusion today, just know you’re not alone and that everything will make sense. Don’t be too worried. Things will work out, just have faith.

Lots of Love,

A Shy Introvert.

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introvert

Introverts and Group Conversations. Perspective 24.

6th of January, 2018. 

Happy New Year to everyone ! I truly hope that this year will the best year you have ever had. For this post, I thought it would be fun to address my problems as an introvert in a “group conversation”. If you are an introvert too, let me know what your thoughts are on group conversations.

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First of all let me be honest and admit that I am terrible at group conversations. Whether the group conversation is with family, friends, or strangers, I am terrible. I try and I persevere but I fail every time ( true story ). So let me tell you my experiences with group conversations.

Problem 1 : Waiting for a chance to speak. 

The conversation starts and everything is great. I am listening intently and I am observing everyone, their facial expressions, emotions and then suddenly I realize I have something to contribute to the conversation. But wait, do I speak now or later ? Let me just wait for person A to finish what they have to say but then as soon as person A finishes speaking, person B starts talking. Okay let me wait for person B to finish. When person B finishes, I just utter a letter of the sentence and I am interrupted by person C. By the time I get a chance to speak, the topic has changed. Great.

Problem 2 :  Not being loud enough for people to hear. 

The funniest part is that even if I do actually speak, only the person closest to me can hear what I have to say. They listen to me, give me a sympathetic smile because they know how hard I am struggling and then they involve themselves into the group conversation.

Problem 3 : Who do I look at when I am talking ? 

When I am talking, I get so overwhelmed because there are so many people staring at me. So who do I look at ? I just end up looking at the wall or just looking at one person. There are people who make eye contact with everyone while talking in a group. Oh well.

Problem 4 : The thoughts in my head are much more interesting. 

In a group conversation, I just end up thinking because the thoughts in my head are much more interesting than what the people are talking about. Then when I am thinking, my head is in another direction and people realize that I am not involved in the conversation and they say, “Are you okay ?” LOL.

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Problem 5 : I am invisible in a group conversation. 

Not even joking about this one. If I were to merge into the the wall, no one would realize because I am so quiet during a group conversation. It’s actually funny.

I always think group conversations follow the principle of “survival of the fittest“. People have to really try their best to get their points across and interrupt others. But despite my inability of surviving in a group conversation, there are actually times when I enjoy listening to people’s input rather than talking. Besides if everyone was to speak in a group conversation, there would be no one listening, right ?

Hope you enjoyed this post. Feel free to tell me what you thought of this post in the comments section below.

I wanted to end with a positive quote. Hope this is encouraging to you.

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Lots of Love,

A Shy Introvert.

 

 

2017 · Blogging · Celebration · New Year

Goodbye 2017. Perspective 23.

31st of December, 2017. 

Happy New Year’s Eve! It is the 31st of December, the last day of 2017. Isn’t it crazy how time is so fleeting ? I still remember the 1st of January 2017. I was studying on New Year’s, believe it or not because I had tests in a couple of days. On this last day, I wanted to do some reflection and analyse this past year.

goodbye 2017

 

I had a fairly okay year. A lot of things happened. The highlight of 2017 was that I overcame depression. I was depressed for about 3 and a half years, so I sought help with depression this year and I am doing so much better now. To actually compare myself now to what I was when I was depressed is mind blowing and a little bit scary. I would cry everyday in the night and suicidal thoughts consumed me. Now I can deal with my emotional problems and am able to help others as well. Something I learned from this journey is that we are all overcomers and can get through any challenge that life throws at us but first we have to believe in ourselves.

The second highlight would be starting this blog. After starting my blog, I would  recommend blogging to everyone. I think it is such a great way to express one’s thoughts and inner creativity in the form of words. Not only that, I was able to read other people’s blogs and really get to know the other bloggers’ stories and struggles. After going through depression, blogging was my creative outlet and it gave me purpose and meaning.

I think the worst part of this year was that I felt very lonely. And for a while it is okay for me to be lonely, I don’t mind but this year was by far the loneliest year for me. I went through a lot of things this year that I didn’t tell people about and I guess that was the biggest cause of my loneliness. Even though I have a couple of friends, sometimes I don’t feel connected to them.

I learnt something important from this year, 2017. “No matter what you’re going through, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel and it may seem hard to get to it but you can do it and just keep working towards it and you’ll find the positive side of things.” – Demi Lovato. This quote is something I live by, especially this year. When I was at my lowest point, that was when I was depressed or just feeling lonely, I remember thinking that one day things will get better and things will make sense. So for now I need to hold my head up and believe that things will work out the way they are supposed to.

So here I am, ready for 2018, standing strong and holding on tight for this next roller coaster ride. Yes, I may fall and stumble but I will get back up and fight. I will not give up and you should not too. So Good Bye 2017.

Lots of Love,

A Shy Introvert.

 

Celebration · Christmas · positivity, inspiration · thoughts

The Aftermath of Christmas. Perspective 22.

25th of December, 2017.


I want to start off by wishing everyone, A Very Merry Christmas! I had a wonderful Christmas with family and going to church and eating a lot of Christmas sweets. I couldn’t help smiling just because it is such a lovely day. 

But now, it’s  almost the end of the Christmas and I’m feeling quite gloomy. All the days leading up to Christmas were exciting and it gave me something to look forward too but now that’s it’s over and tomorrow is the 26th makes me feel really sad. I have to retire to my monotonous and if I might add a very dull life. I have to continue studying.  

I want to remain happy and tell myself that good things will come but how can I when the best part of my year is over? Christmas trees will be removed, I will stop listening to Christmas music, no more cake, it just gets sad and boring. These are my feelings every single year but this year the sadness has gotten worse. 

If you are like me, I just want you to know that even though Christmas is over there will always be something to look forward to. Plan something exciting next month or the one after. And Christmas may only be in December but it’s important to carry the Christmas spirit throughout the year. Always love and be kind, caring and compassionate towards others. Give generously and with all your heart.  You can even watch Christmas movies even when it’s not Christmas. So  once again, Merry Christmas! 

Let me know if any of you guys feel the same way. Thanks for reading. 

Lots of Love,

A Shy Introvert. 

Christmas · depression · Hope · positivity, inspiration

A Message of Hope this Christmas. Perspective 21.

22nd of  December, 2017.

Hey guys, it’s almost Christmas. 3 days left ! In all the excitement and happiness, I wanted to share a short message of hope to all those who are feeling sad, depressed, upset, who feel life does not matter anymore. Here is a short message to each and every one of you,

I know how it feels to wake up every morning not wanting to get up, to have no will to start a new day. Everyone around you seems happy, like they have no care in the world and with Christmas around you probably feel worse. You don’t want to hang out with friends or family because you can’t stand them anymore. You put on a fake smile for others just so that they won’t keep asking you what’s wrong. The nights are horrible. You cry yourself to sleep sometimes and you don’t even get sleep on most days. I know how it feels because I went through this too. During Christmas last year, I was also depressed and I hated my life. But let me tell you that eventually I sought help with my depression and now I am much better than I used to be. You are not going to live like this forever. I know it feels like that but it is not true. Your life is so much more than what you think it is. Yes, I don’t know what you’re going through but trust me when I say that there is always hope at the end of the tunnel.  You have a purpose and a wonderful future. You have people that will need to hear your story about how you struggled and overcame whatever you are going through right now. One day you will help millions of people. Just don’t give up, don’t. It is not worth it. You are needed here on this earth for a reason and your life is not over. Whatever you are going through will not last long. You can get through this. You can and you will. Hold on, your journey is still going on and you have a beautiful future lying ahead of you.

I hope this helps anyone who is struggling. Take care. Reach out to someone, go for therapy if you have to but do not lose hope and do not give up.

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Lots of Love,

A Shy Introvert.

 

 

 

 

Celebration · Christmas

How I Get Into The Christmas Spirit. Perspective 20.

14th of December, 2017.

Hey everyone! There are almost 10 days left for Christmas and I thought it would be fun to tell you all how I get into the Christmas spirit. I hope you like it.

1st : I start talking about Christmas in October

Yes, I know I am obsessed with Christmas. In order to get into the Christmas spirit, I start talking about Christmas in October. I would tell my friends almost everyday in October and November that Christmas is coming. I just love Christmas, I CANNOT help it.

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2nd : I watch many Christmas movies

I also watch Christmas movies and I think it is the best way to get into the Christmas mood. My favorite is Home Alone, I think I will watch it this year because you can NEVER watch Home Alone too many times. I also watch the Hallmark Christmas Movies (almost all of them) and they are absolutely adorable, it just melts my heart. What is your favorite Christmas movie?

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3rd: Decorating the house

I think when I start decorating the house for Christmas, it definitely feels more like Christmas and I just get so excited. My family is not so big on Christmas decorations so I decorate the house as much as I can. Getting up to see Christmas decorations in my house is the best feeling ever! I start decorating early so that I can have a longer Christmas.

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4th: Listening to Christmas Music

I have so many favorite Christmas songs. I recently made a playlist and I listen to these songs in the night, when I am writing and I just start smiling because these songs really get me in the Christmas mood. So, my favorites are White Christmas by Michael Buble and All I want for Christmas by Mariah Carey. I keep singing these sings over and over again which irritates everyone.

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5th: Hot Chocolate, Coffee, Sweets and Chocolates

I guess coffee is not really counted because I have coffee almost every day. But I love drinking hot chocolate and sitting on my rocking chair with my blanket. It feels so great! And I also eat Christmas cakes or sweets. I honestly do not want to think about how much weight I will be putting on during Christmas. I just want to enjoy this beautiful season.

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So this is how I get ready for Christmas and I hope you enjoyed this post. Let me know how you get ready for Christmas in the comments section below 🙂

Lots of Love,

A Shy Introvert.

people · positivity, inspiration · thoughts

What Can I Do ? Perspective 19.

11th of December, 2017.

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I recently attended an event that awarded people who go out of their way to help people who can’t help themselves. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that there are so many people and organizations who are working tirelessly and selflessly to help others. At the same time, I felt quite sad because there are millions around the world who are suffering and need our help. I was so upset when I heard the stories of people who are in such a miserable conditions. After hearing all of of their

I have a house that I live in, a family that cares for me, I get food on a daily basis, I have an education and at the same time there are people who have to migrate to other countries because their own is not safe and even if they do reach another country, they are not assured a new life and shelter over there, there are people who have been taken as hostages, families are separated. Some don’t even have the basic necessities like food, clothing and shelter. And here I am complaining about getting up in the morning and about the food that I eat. And again at the same time, there are ordinary people who are helping those who can’t help themselves and they don’t ask for anything in return.

After thinking about all of this, the question, “What Can I Do?” has been bothering me. I want to do something. I am fed up of just hearing about people suffering and doing absolutely nothing about it.  I want to get out on the battlefield. I want to make a difference. I really do. I want to start by helping those around me, by spreading compassion and love. Always being concerned about others is also another way because we never know what someone is going through.

Attending that event was a wake up call for me to do more, to be more aware and to realize that even though I am an ordinary person, there are ways in which I can help. Guys, if you also feel the need to help, there are many ways to help like:

  1. Volunteering at an orphanage or old age home.
  2. Donating money to organizations that help refugees or people in need.
  3. Making people aware of the various problems in the world.
  4. Partnering with various organizations and asking them how you can be of help.
  5. Spreading love and kindness to people around you.
  6. Going out of your way to help people.

Just remember there is always a way to help.

Lots of Love,

A Shy Introvert.

 

 

 

Love, Happiness · people · thoughts

Sonder. Perspective 18.

8th of December, 2017.

Sonder : The realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own.

I use public transportation almost every day and I come across hundreds of people. I have been thinking that each person that I come across has their own personality, their own story to tell. It just blows my mind that when I actually consider each person rather than just thinking about them as a part of the population that each person is so unique and so beautifully and wonderfully made. My heart is suddenly filled with love and a smile appears on my face. I cannot even fathom how different we all are. We may be similar to some people but we are still so unique. I don’t know if you guys understand me but I have just been having this random thought over the past few months. Then, I have this urge to get to know each and every person which I know is quite impossible.

Let me know if you guys understand me 🙂 Thank you for reading. Have a wonderful day.

Lots of Love,

A Shy Introvert.

Christmas · inspiration

The True Meaning of Christmas. Perspective 17.

5th December, 2017.

Hey guys! First and foremost, I need to apologize for my inconsistency. I haven’t written a post in 2 week. I have been busy with assignments but I am back, feeling more excited than ever.

Why the excitement? It’s December! December = Christmas. I love love Christmas. Everyone is so cheerful and you can even feel the happiness in the atmosphere. I love the cold weather, snuggling up with my blanket and watching a cliche Christmas movie with a cup of coffee. And of course,decorating the Christmas tree, listening and singing to “White Christmas” over 10,000 times.

But you know sometimes, I forget the true meaning of Christmas. Christmas trees and movies is all great but there is much more to Christmas. Christmas is about giving. Giving until it hurts. This is the true meaning of Christmas for me, a father gave up his only son for many people to save them from a very horrible place. He sacrificed his son so that I could be free. So, on Christmas day, the greatest gift for me was sent to this earth. I have to keep reminding myself that Christmas is not about how good it makes me feel but it is about giving until it hurts.

Helping someone, spending time with those who are lonely for the holidays, maybe just visiting an orphanage or old – age home. Simple things like these really fulfill the true meaning of Christmas. You don’t just have to just give from your wallet but you can give your time. I don’t know about you but I really hope that this Christmas, I can give until it hurts.

Do let me know how you plan to give this Christmas. Thank you for reading my post:) And have an absolutely wonderful day.

Lots of Love,

A Shy Introvert.

thoughts

“I’m Fine.” Perspective 16.

19th November, 2017. 

“Hey, how are you?” 

“I’m fine.”

How many times have you said this line? “I’m Fine.” I know I have said it multiple times. I always tell other people I’m fine whenever they ask me how I am. But it’s a lie. I read an article about the things we lie about everyday and “I’m fine” is one of them. 

Although I laughed out loud, I realised that I lie. I lie about my feelings to other people. Other people lie about their feelings to me. We all lie. We create this public persona that has to be a perfect. Why should other people know that I’m having a rough day? I want to be fun and cool, not the person who complains about their problems. This is what we all think. 

The hidden persona is our true self. The one we don’t want people to know about. This persona has it’s bad days and is emotional. But it doesn’t show up very often. It’s our public persona that gets all the fame. 

What I’m trying to say is, what’s so wrong with telling people, “I’m having a rough day or I’m not feeling too good.” You don’t have to run around and tell everyone this. But there are some genuinely caring people out there who want to know how you feel. Let them know how you feel and maybe what they say will encourage you and uplift your spirits. 

It’s okay to be vulnerable, to expose your emotions. It does not mean your uncool or weak. It just means that you are strong enough to talk about how you feel when others can’t. 

So today, stop lying and be honest. When other people say they are “fine” ask them again. Dig deeper and let people know that you care. I’m going to try my best and I hope you do too. 

Lots of Love, 

A Shy Introvert.